Missing You

Hey there. It's April. For 80 some years we celebrated this man's birthday on April 18th- only to find out his birth certificate actually says April 17th.

Bebe Calvert Cokinos Nov. 18,1918- Jan. 15, 2011

Bernice "Bebe" Cokinos, 93, a native Washingtonian who modeled for local companies and stores in the 1950s and '60s, died Jan. 15 of complications from heart disease at her home in Potomac.

Mrs. Cokinos was once featured with her mother and daughter in a Washington Post story titled "Three generations in size 9!"

Her modeling clients included Woodward & Lothrop and Lansburgh's department stores as well as the utility company Pepco. She modeled in runway shows at the Shoreham and Mayflower hotels and for magazine and newspaper advertisements.

In 1958, she won a local radio station's beauty contest for women over 40. Her prize was a backyard swimming pool, which she turned down, telling a reporter at the time: "I don't swim if I can help it. I'm strictly an indoor girl."

Bernice Calvert was born in Washington and graduated in 1935 from the old Western High School, where she met her future husband, George Cokinos.

His family owned a bar and grill at the corner of Macomb Street and Wisconsin Avenue NW. The young couple worked at the restaurant during the 1940s before moving to Potomac in 1955.

Her husband of 72 years died in 2008. Survivors include four children,  11 grandchildren; and seven great-grandchildren.

from The Washington Post Feb/2011- Obit. by Emma Brown

From Sally Harris Gass

Mr Tractor

I don't know how many trailers George went through, but there are many children with broad smiles from many generations who enjoyed rides in the trailer among the leaves.

You always welcomed me as one of your own, and even after Mom died and Dad moved away- I always felt like I had a home on Riverwood Drive. George touched the lives of many people. I feel blessed that he was part of mine.

From Neighbors Michael and Jean Marlowe

It was always good to hear the sound of the leaf blower, or see George chugging along on his little tractor. He was the guardian of Riverwood Drive.  In fact, Riverwood Drive is George, and it will never be the same without him here. He was a dear sweet man.

Dancing At My Wedding

Thanksgiving 1978

ICON

from Yiya's house dated 1927 on the back

The Basement

Beach House Ancient Pancake Ceremony

1990

Papou and Kit

Keagan's Birthday 9-25-2000

Jorge and Dad
South Bethany
june 1982

Fourth of July 1967
Looker's Party,
Annapolis

Mom and Dad and Nick

"So We Beat On, Boats Against The Current"

Yes, It's been a while since a new posting. My life and desk have always been in a state of disarray, but the added turmoil of my father's death- a concept I still can't quite grasp-has brought the usual chaos up to a new level. Yet in other ways life does go on if not as normal, but close to it. Spring and summer came. Everyone in the family still gets up, eats and sleeps. All the TV judge and dance shows that he loved to watch are still on at the same time. And Home Depot is still in business, despite a dip in sales at the store on Shady Grove Road.

But other things are very different. The county dump is still there, but my mother has hired a trash man for the first time in forty years. (Dad fell out with the last crew.) She is still living in the house, but she and my brother and sister got a bad case of the heaves-which in this case is an incurable urge to remove clutter. The basement work shop where Dad stored every toilet, toaster, stereo and telephone to pass his way - not to mention a frighteningly large inventory of screws, nails, electric cords, paint cans, plumbing, electric shavers and more has been cleaned out. (With all that new space, I thought we could at least set up the old ping pong table, but inexplicably only half of it seems to be in residence.) On the lighter side Mom was finally able to replace the aging dishwasher and refrigerator that Dad never failed to "fix"- at least just enough to put off buying a new one.

The beach house still stands, but the regular long weekends don't happen anymore. Instead Pat and Mom and Roger have become The Three Beachketeers- each leaning on the other as Roger is the only one who likes to drive; Pat likes to organize; and of course Mom does the cooking when they are not going out to eat. The beach place has also been de-clutterated; the neighbors were treated to the sight of all sorts of things being flung off of the deck. The garage was emptied of forty years worth of beach combed lumber. Besides the glaring absence of Father- the landscape literally has been radically changed. A man made protective dune was installed over the winter, and the ocean now seems a half a mile away. It's good to know that Dad approved this change even though he never got to see it.

I think we all try and avoid thinking about that big hole George P. Cokinos left here on Earth because it is still just too painful to realize life without him. But little things can sneak up and hit hard. It suddenly occurs me that I need to stop using the word parents - the singular parent doesn't usually work-as in my parent's beach house. Or I am in my car cresting the hill on Wisconsin Avenue in Tenleytown, and I start to cry as I remember how often my father drove this same route and saw the same view of the Cathedral. I am grateful when a day goes by, and I actually don't cry. F. Scott Fitzgerald put it best I think in his last line of The Great Gatsby:

So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.

I know as time goes on there will be fewer sad days and more days spent telling funny stories. At least he left us with a boat load of those.

Recipe

From Billie Stathes Wills

I was devastated upon hearing the news about Cokie. I was so looking forward to their visit after the cruise.
My dearest oldest and best friend. Where do I begin? I was five and he was six when we met. I remember it well. I and several other children were waiting in an anteroom for our mothers who were in a Filoptohos meeting. Cokie was in charge of keeping us quiet. Instead this blue eyed blond little boy was entertaining us with his magical fingers- making little designs and flipping them around. He was such a cute little boy. He had us in an uproar.

And so it was for the rest of his memorable life. There was always a smile, always a quip, always a help, always fun. Never was there anger nor worry. Cokie always had a solution or an answer to another's problem. It was uncanny-ESP. He was there when needed without being asked.

Cokie loved his family and friends. He adored and was devoted to Bebe, his wife of seventy odd years. He was always thinking of ways to surprise her and make her happy.

He also loved automobiles. He always had the flashiest and the best. He treated the cars as off springs!

Cokie was loyal, dependable and trustworthy. Wherever he may be now, he is spreading joy.

I have lost my truest friend.

We will all miss him.

From Jorge Alfaro

Papou was like a grandfather to me as well as my God Father, and without a doubt I can say he was a great role model while I was growing up and an excellent father figure. Aside from the discipline and responsibility that he instilled in me as a kid, I can remember fondly his endless humor and compassion towards family and friends.

I remember how he was able to entertain my friends at home or at the beach house, especially during breakfast and dinner. They would always get a laugh at his antics with food or his jokes.

Anyone who met Papou would usually walk away with a smile (an unsuspecting waitress at Jimmy’s) and be amazed at his enthusiasm for life even at his age (Diann & Wayne Short at Short Brothers Market).

So many memories of him-like the early Saturday bike rides to the donut shop in Bethany, for of course, the jelly filled or éclair donuts. Plus who can forget the proclaimed, “most famous hot cakes on the Eastern Shore”?

I can also remember us on the tractor early in the morning during winter, and the hot Cocoa that he prepared to get us warm, as well as our autumn afternoons in the yard raking leaves or cutting wood.

Luckily my wife and in-laws had the opportunity to enjoy Papou. One of the recent memories I will be able to cherish is Papou along with Mama Bebe and Aunt Patsy being at my wedding in Guatemala. Something I will remember for as long as I will live.

I guess I can understand now that life should be enjoyed to the fullest, and the more our happiness is shared with others the better off we are.

Papou always was the perfect example of that old adage of “try, try again” since he would never be defeated by an electrical or plumbing problem. He would always find a way to fix things around the house even if it seemed impossible. Now I realize that he showed me- in his own way- that life is not always easy or perfect, and that I have to get my elbows dirty once in a while to get things accomplished.

Papou will forever have a special place in my heart and memory not only for taking me under his wing and allowing me to be like a grandson to him but for the unconditional love he demonstrated.

This picture happened when my in-laws were in Potomac last year, and my mother in law took her plate away so Papou could not put more food on it. Suddenly he took out this normal looking fork and started extending it. It was a blast!!

From Marthann Cibel Secrist

The Cokinos family and the Cibel family became 'one' when Patsy & my brother, Anthony (Tony) got married on June 27th, 1959. We all came to love and adore Patsy. George & Bebe were an added bonus. I got to know them while Anthony & Patsy were living in Rockville and even better after they moved to Bethesda.

I consider Patsy my second sister. As for George, he was one of the nicest people I've ever known. After I lost my Dad, George told me he knew no one could ever take his place but he volunteered to do whatever he could - if I ever needed him. A true gentleman - always stood up when a female entered the room.

His humor was a bit on the kookie side - Phil & I were at the beach house with them & Patsy one summer years ago. The first morning we gathered for breakfast and what a breakfast! In front of George was a plate piled high with an amazing assortment of donuts. George picked up each and every one while licking and saying "I want them all, and this is the only way I can keep anyone else from eating them!"

He loved his home in Potomac and any given weekend you could find him outside chopping, cleaning up brush, or riding on one of his motorized 'farm' vehicles. He took pride in his homes. He could fix anything! Always puttering, painting, fixing this or that.

He had the most wonderful sense of family of almost any man I've ever known. They were always first in his thoughts and actions. Bebe was his life-long love. They were best friends as well . Whenever I was in any of their homes they made me feel as though I "belonged" there.

George lived life to the fullest. He was doing just what he wanted when he was so critically injured : with Bebe and Patsy - on the sea -tanned and looking about 30 years younger that he was.

He will be remembered by all of us as a wonderful, loving man - for a very, very long time.

From Pat Cibel

A Few of My Thoughts About Dad

There were the phone calls that would come out of the blue:

"Pat, would you do me a BIG favor....Please break it to your mother that I have

invited a few neighbors in for dinner."

Our many chats around the pool at Sunrise Condo were so revealing about his struggles through out life or successes and failures in business, and how proud he was of his Greek heritage. He had an ability to put things into perspective-to mend fences and to let go of past transgressions.

How will I ever be able to buy another car without him?

How lucky we all were to have him for so long. The legacy he leaves with his 11 grandchildren and 7 great grandchildren will live on. His hard work ethics, his honesty,his kindness and love of family was instilled in all of us from the oldest to the youngest.

My last fun thought of Dad was on the ill fated cruise ship. We were enjoying our favorite Latin band when he said, "Let's practice the Cha-Cha." We went to a spot nearby and did our thing until he said, "I've got it now."

He never really lost it.

I will miss our times together.

I will miss his kindness, his generosity and most of all, his unspoken love which

I felt every day of my life.

Dad- you were indeed special. You made my world a better place.

Thanks for a lifetime of memories.

From Chryssa Cokinos Halley

Everyone in my grandfather’s life was part of his family and nothing was more important to my grandfather than family. However, my Grandfather had a special place in his heart for the grandkids. He had unlimited amounts of love for us. It wasn’t the kind of love that we could do no wrong. He wanted to teach us how to act and what was important in life. He did a lot of this teaching by telling us how to behave and what to do. My grandfather always had an answer for every question. However, he taught us more by the way he acted and the way he lived, when he thought we weren’t looking…

• When he thought we weren’t looking, he was calling on Christmas and pretending to be Santa and telling us stories while we sat in his lap in his favorite chair and we learned that little things are special things.

• When he thought we weren’t looking, he was playing football or paddleball with us at the beach or at home and we learned it was important to have fun also

• When he thought we weren’t looking, he had a daily flag hanging ceremony and we learned the importance of country

• When he thought we weren’t looking he took us for walks at the beach and we learned the importance of nature and good health

• When he thought we weren’t looking, he stole our food from our plates and we learned to eat with our elbows up

• When he thought we weren’t looking, he was telling my date to have me home 9 from the lifeguard ball and I learned that he cared

• When he thought we weren’t looking, we saw him be kind to a stranger and ask them to breakfast (my grandmother was always thrilled to have one more) and we learned to be kind to other people

• When he thought we weren’t looking, we saw him shining the wheels on the car, cleaning the deck or painting something and we learned it was important to take care of our belongings

• When he thought we weren’t looking, we saw him haggle over the price of a Christmas tree or a car and we learned the importance of money

• When he thought we weren’t looking, we saw him conducting business at a restaurant or bar and we learned that being in business took hard work

• When he thought we weren’t looking, we looked and wanted to say thanks for all the things we saw when he thought we weren’t looking

My grandfather was a special man, as everybody here knows, but for his having lived he made all of our lives better. I think I can speak for all of the grandkids and say I wanted to grow up and be just like my grandfather. I can only hope that I have made him proud.